


The Winter Soldier's Companion

by capstevesbarnes



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Winter Soldier (Comics)
Genre: Action, Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Romance, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-23
Updated: 2019-05-25
Packaged: 2020-03-13 06:51:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,187
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18935656
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/capstevesbarnes/pseuds/capstevesbarnes
Summary: My life was never meant to turn out like this. A never-ending nightmare of being forced to love someone, no something, incapable of feeling anything but anger. A cold-blooded assassin. I never planned on giving in to his ways, the universe only knows that I fought against him for as long as possible. But in the end however, I had to choose between saving my life or his..And I chose his.





	1. Til Death

My life was never meant to turn out like this. A never-ending nightmare of being forced to love someone, no something, incapable of feeling anything but anger. A cold-blooded assassin. I never planned on giving in to his ways, the universe only knows that I fought against him for as long as possible. But in the end however, I had to choose between saving my life or his.

And I chose his.

The Winter Soldier.

His name made my stomach turn in knots. From the moment I had been abducted, his presence was insufferable. The Soldier proudly represented everything they stood for: destruction, hatred, and death. The Soldier lacked remorse or the ability to see the error in his senseless acts of violence he committed nearly every day. He is an unstoppable killing machine and not only am I forced to watch him ruin the lives of innocent people, but I must also love him.

The thought in itself was nauseating.

You laid next to him in silence, both of you fighting sleep in order to avoid the nightmares that you knew were inevitable. Your shared room was dark and cold. The walls and floor made of stone with a ceiling that often leaked when it rained. The room was often suffocating but you knew that it was a 5-star hotel compared to the last place you laid your head.

At least you had a bed.

“He said he knew me.” The Soldier whispered, pulling you away from your thoughts. “The man on the bridge. He called me Bucky. Why?”

His statement surprised you. The Soldier rarely spoke to you unless it was forced and usually came with a stern tone.

“He was trying to confuse you. You saw him earlier on a previous mission, remember? He tried to kill you.”

“No, he didn’t even fight back.” The Soldier pointed out. “I knew him.”

“Great.” You sighed. “Then you can ask him all your questions the next time you see him. Clearly I don’t have the answers.”

The Soldier mumbled something inaudible under his breath as you turned away from him.

The last thing you needed was the Soldier becoming too paranoid and getting you both killed. HYDRA had made it clear from the moment you had been abducted, there could be no soldier without his companion and vice versa. The two of you were bound together by a cruel twist of fate and there was nothing that could be done to change it.

Immediately after being kidnapped by HYDRA, it had been made clear that the two of you were bound together by a cruel twist of fate and there was nothing that could be done to change it. At first, you refused to believe the lies they told you. You tried every day to fight your way out of the torture and away from HYDRA. But with each failed attempt, you were met with a harsher punishment. By the third attempt, HYDRA had bound your wrists and ankles and thrown you into solitary confinement for two months. And that was it. As much as you hated the Soldier and your situation, you also hated the thought of dying. You caved to their tests and experiments that were ran on you. HYDRA had been working to alter your DNA, strength, and mind to be similar to that of the Soldier’s. Together, the two of you were expected to begin a new kind of race.

A race of HYDRA killers.

The thought made you nauseous. Neither you or the Soldier had ever shared or attempted any form of intimacy. You could barely look at him when he was in the same room as you, let alone have demon children with him. It also did not help that the Soldier was constantly ordering you around and snapping at you if you spoke to him without being spoken to first. HYDRA loved it.

As you laid in bed thinking, Bucky’s nightmares kicked into full throttle and he began to scream.

“Wake up.” You whispered. “Wake up. It’s okay.”

“No.” He moaned opening his eyes.

“No?”

The Soldier sat up, his eyes trying to find yours in the dark. “Something is off, y/n. Don’t you feel it? All of this. Something doesn’t feel right.”

“It was just a nightmare, go back to sleep.”

“It was not a nightmare. It was real. That man on the bridge was in it. We were partners fighting together against something evil. I just don’t know what.”

“Sounds like you were fighting against yourself.”

You began to laugh but the Soldier was not amused.

“Listen, if you do not stop with this nonsense, I will report you for treason to Pierce. Do you want that?”

It was an empty threat but the last thing you needed was the Soldier shooting off his conspiracy theories around the wrong person and having you both killed.

Bucky grabbed your arm tightly. “You wouldn’t.”

“Try me.” You threatened, pulling away from him. “The last thing I need is you getting us killed.”

“Y/N,” He paused. “I know something is off. You have to believe me.”

“When have you ever given me a reason to trust you?”

The words tasted like venom and the Soldier felt the sting. After several minutes of silence, the Soldier had seemingly fallen back asleep. And as you watched the tension leave his face, you couldn’t help but think back to your previous conversation about his fight on the bridge. While you didn’t know much about the Avengers or Captain America, it did not make sense to you that he would try to play with the Soldier’s mind. He didn’t appear to be the type who lied but with HYDRA’S hate campaign towards him, who honestly knew?

As your eyes grew heavier, you realized that you wouldn’t be able to avoid sleep for much longer. You began to countdown from a hundred knowing that tomorrow would be here shortly but as you fell asleep, one question continued to burn in your mind:

_Who the hell is Bucky?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, ya'll. First off, welcome to my first multi-chapter fic! I have strictly been a one-shot person my whole life so this will be a challenge for me. I started a part of this story three years ago but it completely fell of my to do list. Please read, review and let me know what you think! Also, I saw the requests for a part 2 of Trust. I will definitely be getting to that! xx -Cloud


	2. In Fear, We Trust

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will try not to have notes in every chapter but thank you to everyone who has read my story already. As I previous mentioned, this is my first attempt at a multi-chapter story. I usually just stick to one shots which as a lot to do with my level of confidence in myself but since I broke my ankle last week, I decided to give this a shot again. As always, please review/comment and let me know what you think! Thank you. xx -Cloud

_*Six months prior*_

“Are you sure you don’t need someone to walk you home?” your friend asked for the tenth time. “It isn’t safe to be walking alone. Especially at this time of night.”

“I will be fine.” you assured them. “I have walked myself home before with no issue. Why would tonight be any different?”

“Alright, just be safe and call me when you get home.”

“Of course.”

You gave your friend once last hug before heading your separate ways. As you made your way to your apartment, you were unable to shake an eerie feeling. A feeling of being followed. As you hurried along down the street, you carefully peeked over your shoulder to see if anyone was following you.

A wave of relief washed over you after you realized that you were just being paranoid. Taking a deep breath, you turned back around to see a man in dark clothing hovering over you.

You opened your mouth to scream, but he quickly grabbed you by the neck.

“Please don’t make this hard for me. I am too tired to hurt you.”

His tone may have been calm but his threats were very real .

You shut your mouth in compliance causing him to release your neck. Once his hands were off of you, you let out a loud screech as you knee’d him and took off running.

“Bitch!”

Running as fast as you possibly could, you made your way into an alley, praying he hadn’t seen you. After a couple of seconds, you reached for your phone in your coat pocket to dial 911.

“Hello, please help me. I am-”

The phone was snatched out of your hand and thrown on the ground.

“Don’t say I didn’t try to warn you.” The man grabbed you by your hair and covered your mouth and nose with a rag that smelled of chloroform.

And as you struggled one last time to break free, everything went black.

<>

When you awoke up your head was pounding and everything felt like it was spinning in slow motion. There was a horrible odor that resembled a decaying body. Everything around you was dark and while struggled to regain your thoughts, it suddenly dawned on you that when you were restrained to a chair and blindfolded.

“What the fuck!” You screamed.

“No need for the vulgar language (y/l/n). You can remove her blindfold now, Rumlow.”

The removal of your blindfold revealed a small, dimly lit room made out of stone. There were four bodyguards standing in each corner of the room and an older man sitting in front of you. The man you assumed to be Rumlow, must have been the one responsible for attacking you in the alley. His cheap cologne mixed in terribly with the already pungent smell. The man in front of you cleared his throat in an obnoxious ‘notice me, I am in charge’ manner.

How cliche.

“Hello Ms. (y/l/n), I am Alexander Pierce. I am sure you are curious as to why you were captured and brought here.”

“No, not really. Though I am wondering who you had tie me up. These knots are probably the easiest to escape from.” You bluffed with a wide grin spread across your face.

“You can try to escape all you want, (y/l/n). Just know that any one of these men will be happy to shoot you on my command and not think twice about it.” said Pierce with an equally smug look on his wrinkly face. “As I was saying, I am sure you are wondering what is going on. You see, HYDRA has been watching you for quite some time, and after strict observation we have decided that you would be the perfect match for our Winter Soldier.”

“A perfect match in what way for who? And why? And who is HYDRA?”

“We are HYDRA.” He said gesturing around the room. “Focusing on building an elite and brighter tomorrow. And now, you are as well. Untie her and bring him in.”  

You were taken aback as the so called Winter Soldier entered the room. He was much bigger than you not only in size, but height. His long, dark hair blocked your view from his face. And then there was his left arm, which wasn’t his arm at all. It was bionic. The entire situation had you wondering if you were involved in a horror movie.

“Winter Soldier, meet your new companion. Together you two will make an elite set of children to take your place if something ever happens to you.”

The Soldier was obviously studying you just as hard as you had been with him. His face was rough and as you stared into his soulless eyes, you were met with a look of dissatisfaction.

“I do not want her!” He growled. “She is going to be a waste of space.”

“Hey buddy, you’re not a first option for me either. I actually have a boyfriend who will be looking for me.” You lied, trying to hide the fact that he had just offended you. Here you were captured against your will to be a companion to some terminator and he had the audacity to say you weren’t good enough.

The Soldier immediately lunged at you, grabbing your neck and slamming you hard against the wall. “You will not speak unless you are spoken to, is that understood?”

“What is will all the neck grabbing? Are you folks into that kinky shit?” You giggled as you gasped for air.

The Soldier did not seem amused by your comment. He didn’t seem amused by anything.

Something told you that your new best friend had an anger problem.

“Find me someone else.” The soldier ordered dropping you to the ground. “And get rid of this one.”

As his words processed in your brain, you began to silently panic knowing that if he didn’t accept you as his partner, you would not make it out of the room alive. “Why? Am I not good enough for you?” You barked, standing up. “Am I not pretty enough for you? Are you scared of someone not kissing your ass?”

“What did I say about-”

“Not speaking unless spoken to? This isn’t the olden days. If I am going to be forced into whatever this is, then I will speak when I want. Go ahead and get rid of me if you want, but good luck finding anyone who will be able to tolerate you.” You challenged him, stunning yourself with your two minutes of bravery.

If you were going to die, you would do it with honor. Not fear.

The Soldier did not speak but the anger behind his eyes sure did.

“I am afraid you don’t have an option.” Pierce eventually commented, breaking the silence. “This is the person who you are meant to be with.”

You were too afraid to ask what he meant by that.

“Fine.” The Soldier responded. “She can stay. Just remember, I don’t do second chances: Defy me and I will personally kill you myself. Got it?”

“Got it. Now can someone tell me why I am here?”

<>

The following weeks after the Soldier’s encounter with Captain America had been rocky. His confusion turned into anger that turned into hostility towards HYDRA, doing stupid things to get under their skin. He began coming back from training later and later each day and usually with more bruises than he had left with.

Today was no different.

The Soldier had not returned to the room you shared until the early hours of the morning. His face had been banged up and he was limping. Though his injuries healed differently than yours, you always found yourself going into protective mode and taking care of him.

“Why do you want to get yourself killed?” You hissed as you forced him to sit down. “What part of I don’t need you getting us killed do you not understand? Seriously! If I am going to be forced to live here with you, you need to control yourself!”  

It was the same lecture you had been giving him for the past month. Only this time he did not bother to yell back. He only stared at the wall.

“What’s wrong? No yelling or threatening to slam me into the floor today?”

It was a partial joke considering as much as he threatened you, he had not be violent since the day you met. Even after his Treatments that usually made me him aggressive and suffer from short-term amnesia, he still kept his hands to himself.

As you grabbed the first aid kit from the closet, the Soldier’s silence continued to pierce the room. Gently attending to his wounds, you continued to wait for his response. Carefully, placed your hand on his, causing him to flinch slightly before finally meeting your eyes. The Soldier’s expression was harder than usual. His eyes were nearly black and you couldn’t imagine what would have him angrier than usual.

“What do they do to you when you’re gone for such a long time?” you asked.

“I overheard Rumlow talking to a few other men about you today.” he responded, blatantly ignoring your question. “He said that Hydra wants to start your Treatments soon.”

“Oh.”

Wrapping his cut, you couldn’t pretend to be surprised by the news. You had been expecting something like this to happen for a bit. However, it had been nearly six months since you were kidnapped and you had began to hope that HYDRA may have decided against experimentation.

“Is that all you have to say? _Oh_?” The Soldier asked.

“What else can I say? As you can see, I lost my freewill six months ago. And you won’t even tell me what they do to you when you’re away all day!”

“I am not going to let them touch you.” he responded.

“Since when do you care about me getting hurt?” you scoffed. “Didn’t you call me a waste of space just six months ago?”

“It may be one thing to find you infuriating, but I would never wish the things I have been through on anyone else.”

The brief moment of sincerity in his voice caught you off guard. The Soldier had been through pain and torture that had changed him entirely. And even though you wanted to find reassurance in his words, you knew that there was only so much Bucky would be able to do without compromising his life for yours. He may have been strong physically but he was only capable of so much emotionally.

Putting the first aid kit back in the closet, you felt the Soldier’s eyes follow you across the room. He was always staring at you, from the first moment you were introduced. As if you would disappear as soon as he looked away.

“Why are you always looking at me?”  You asked, not turning away from the closet.

“Are you afraid of me?”

“Isn’t that what you want?”

“No.” he responded bitterly. “I am going to sleep. Goodnight.”

The Soldier laid down without another word. He could be so weird at times. Admittedly, the question threw you off guard but it wasn’t something worth pushing now. You didn’t have the energy and with your new found information, it appeared that there were bigger issues to worry about.

Following the Soldier’s lead, you climbed into your side of the bed and pretended to fall asleep.

_What am I going to do?_

<>

“Rogers, wake up.” Natasha nudged. “It’s late.”

Sitting up from his drool covered desk, Steve let out a groan as he stretched up from the table. He had fallen asleep at his desk again for the third time this week.

“I gotta say, sleep deprivation is not a good look on you.” joked Natasha.

Steve, however, was not amused by her comment. It had been nearly a month since he had seen <i>him<i>. His childhood best friend, brother, and war partner, Bucky. He had spent all of these years thinking he was dead, just to find him fighting for HYDRA.

Fighting against him. As if they were strangers.

“Come on, Cap. You should go to bed. How can you expect to find anyone when you are this sleep deprived?” Natasha asked, drawing his attention away from his thoughts.  

Steve had dedicated all of his free time to searching for his long lost friend. Practically burying himself in investigating the smallest leads he could fine. Steve had refused to sleep and even eat at times until Bucky was found. But Natasha was right, if he didn’t get some rest he would surely lose his mind and ability to continue his search.

“We will find him.” she assured. “Now go get some rest, please.”

Steve nodded in agreement to her wishes and made his way to his room. He was far too tired to argue with Natasha or pretend like he had a good enough reason for fighting his sleep.

_I am coming for you Bucky. I promise._


End file.
